We bikers are not immune to alamak moments too because we are simply human. Here are the Top 5 Alamak Moments for Bikers.

The word “alamak” is a Bahasa Malaysia word which we would utter when something goes wrong. Well, there are other curse words but they are unprintable here, so let us stick to this one. It is in the same vein as “blimey,” “oh crap,” “aiyah,” and many others.

1. The (broken) routine

Long-time riders have the “procedures” of getting for a ride down to a routine. But we sometimes get it all so wrong when there is too much to think about or a hot girl walks by. Or just getting old and senile like me.

It goes like this:

• Walk outside.
• Insert key in the ignition.
• Gloves on.
• Wait a minute… where is the helmet?
• Alamak! It is in the house.
• Remove gloves.
• Dig into pockets for house keys.
• Go inside house and grab the helmet.
• Put helmet on.
• Alamak! Forgot to put in the earplugs.
• Never mind, am late already! Ride away like an angry hornet.
• Realise there is the wind feels kind of er… breezy on your hands.
• Alamak! Did not put on the gloves. In fact, where are the gloves???
• Insert the most favourite curse words here.

2. Rain suit on or rain suit off

The Oxford definition of Sod’s Law is: The fact that things tend to happen in just the way that you do not want.

You check the weather app and says sunny all day, but you stuffed the rain suit into the space under the seat, anyway, knowing how fickle our weather is.

Breakfast was good and you are leaving. But the sunshine suddenly goes away as if you are under a full eclipse. You begin to hear patters of rain on the mamak restaurant’s roof. So, you rush out to the bike, remove the seat and pull the rain suit out. You pull on the rain suit, wear the helmet… and the clouds part and the sun comes out.

Ah nevermind, you ride off in the rain suit anyway and the sun began to get hotter and hotter. You are now sweating like an Eskimo in the tropics, wrapped up in clothes looking like a parachutist who missed his landing point and ended up on a motorcycle.

So, you decide to stop and take the rain suit off. Ah, what a relief!

Two kilometres down the road, the rain comes down again… Alamak!

3. The charge/non-charging device

The alarm clock rings and you get up quickly. Hey, it is the day for the big ride. You reach for your phone which you had plugged in all night. 12%. What the… Alamak! The switch was off!

But you dress up anyway. But just before starting the ride, plug the phone in, to be greeted with a the charging tone.

You reach your destination and take the phone out for pictures with your buddies. 5%.

Alamak!

4. The wayward earplug

I do not know about you guys, but I refuse to ride without earplugs. I used to refuse to believe in them until I tried them on and what a difference it makes.

But… earplugs need to be inserted correctly otherwise they will wiggle their way out of the ear hole sooner or later. And it usually only happens in one ear, especially when you are riding at high speeds. Correcting it needs helmet removal, which follows removing the gloves. So, another alamak moment.

5. Unstrapped chin strap

You are enjoying the ride when you suddenly hear something slapping the side of the helmet. Alamak, you had forgotten to fasten the chin strap. The only way to fix it is to stop the motorcycle, and removing the gloves. Not going to happen when you are in the middle of convoy.